Monday, January 7, 2013

swan song

as a former service blog writer, i have had chances over the years to work with literary agents, but i declined because my goal has never been to be published at any cost. my goal is to write what comes from within, and i did not want to compromise, even if it meant not having an agent take me on as a client. perhaps that can be viewed as stubborn or stupid. but it is what guides me.

when i began this blog, it was with the intention of keeping a literary presence on the internet while i worked at improving my writing. i was burnt out on the service blog, and i was ready to focus on my novels. life can place walls and speed bumps along the way, and i found myself with little inspiration and even less time to devote to writing. there was a lot of frustration as writing is my passion, and yet i seemed to have found myself in an abandoned cul-de-sac. my characters floated in literary limbo, and as much as i tried to complete my novel i could not make any headway.

so i walked away. i figured at some point i would find time, or my characters would nag and tug and force me back to the computer to complete their stories. but the longer i went without writing a single sentence, the more distance grew between me and my creativity. i was at the point of thinking i would never do anything worthwhile in the literary sense, and as much as it pained me, i knew i couldn't force myself to write anything of substance.

but just as life has a way of tossing roadblocks in front of you, it also offers alternate routes. mine came by way of a muse, a physical embodiment of inspiration. from nowhere and everywhere i found my desire to write again, but this time i had no characters or plot lines that begged to have their story told. instead i found within me a place of truth. i found my voice. 

it has been the most inspired period of my writing thus far. everything has changed, from my style and wording to my thought process when it comes to putting pen to paper. my novels, as much as i loved writing them, no longer represent me as a writer. they were very important steps towards where i have found myself, but they are not me. 

i am working towards sharing my voice with the world. i am basking in the light of my muse. i am being true to who i am, and writing from my heart.

- mi




2 comments:

Zoltar Panaflex said...

You know what I'd say if you were parked at my house - Hugs and all you want, on a platter -- Just for you!

Neurotic Workaholic said...

Sometimes it's good to step away from writing and figure things out. I've done that more than once. And the fact that you have come back to writing shows how important it is to you.